Distinguishing a true love from a loving illusion can represent in itself a rather long process of awareness over weeks, months, years, decades, or even a lifetime.
In addition, it is essential to know the characteristics of one and the other and one of the most difficult ways of doing so is the own life experience. From an early age, the human being is confronted with romantic stories that begin to fill his subconscious since he is approximately 3 years old. At this age, your mind absorbs information with the same power with which a black hole absorbs matter and light. At 3 years of age, children, whose predominant brain waves are theta waves (4 to 7 Hz), find themselves with a learning capacity so fast that they will never have again throughout their life, similar ability to accumulate so much information. In addition to learning everything that is part of their relationship with the world, they are also suggested by several children’s tales that will fill your imagination with beautiful images about love and affective life.
They will vibrate with fairy tales in which the woman is always beautiful and full of high moral predicates as well as her prince charming. In early childhood, the ability to sense critically – the mechanism of censorship – which acts as a door between the conscious and subconscious mind, is not yet developed. As imagination is a task performed by the subconscious mind and has not yet developed a watershed between the conscious and subconscious mind, children are usually very creative, imaginative, with a tendency to create immense stories and myths within themselves. They can therefore bring much more easily information from their subconscious to the conscious than adults.
As children grow up to become adults in the real world, they learn that romantic life, full of love colors of green-life, pink-love or baby blue, with which they entertained themselves for their own inner delight in a mental dome to which only the creators themselves have access, simply does not exist. Or rather, it is proportional to the lessons that the Soul/Higher I of them chose to learn through the contracts of love relationships – karmic or dhármicas – that they have established with their partners and partners.
Why do human beings need to create mental stories in which they review themselves as the enchanted prince or princess of fairy tales, when the reality of their external love life reveals the exact opposite of these illusions in which they insist on being embattled against all evidence? The answer is obviously the avoidance of suffering from contact with reality. However, by avoiding feeling and experiencing reality as it is, creating myths and inner fables, they miss a great opportunity for spiritual evolution.
Do people live and live with their loving partners and partners or live before with a recreated image of those same partners that does not always correspond to reality? And what happens when the masks fall off? Do relationships continue or move to the next partner because the relationship has reached a point where it is no longer possible to usurp the place of truth with the place of loving illusions with which they feast your mind while your heart remains hungry?
As relationships advance in time, participants know themselves. Relationships serve not only for emotional stability but also for inner growth which is not free from suffering, since virtually no one currently incarnated corresponds to evolved beings already freed from karma and, therefore, the wheel of reincarnations, but rather the 7500 million human beings to experience another of their 200 or 300 incarnations, trying to learn their lessons in the school of souls of planet Earth.
Love relationships serve to mirror our behaviors in each other so that we can learn what we are like. We use a mirror to comb in the morning because we can’t see our own hair. Likewise, we establish a loving relationship with another person, to know our own defects and virtues and work them.
Never should a human being blame his partner for his love misfortune. Only himself is responsible for himself. If you do, you’re missing a glorious opportunity to become aware of yourself. It is equivalent to rejecting a discount coupon in the supermarket since that person, boastfully, considers himself rich and not in need of any discount (i.e. spiritually conscious making the analogy), and therefore will consider that the failure of the relationship is not in itself but out of himself, eventually, in his partner or partner.
The strength of a loving relationship is not seen by the way it falls, however, by the way it arises after the fall, not once, two or three times only, but as many times as necessary to learn the lesson proposed by the Soul of those involved.
Possible scenarios of a fall in a relationship
1. The relationship ends and the companions each follow toa relationship with a new partner and partner, but carry the inner illusions of the previous relationship to the next relationship. Thus, they generate a repetitive pattern in their relationships since whenever a problem arises in the relationship, instead of working and reflecting on themselves, they tend to go the easiest and simplest way in the short term that consists of ending the relationship without having learned the lesson or, in a more pessimistic analysis, self-convincing themselves that they knew what the lesson was and that they have already learned it.
They tend to consider themselves victims of their partner and hope in vain that the next relationship will be different just because they have changed partners or partners.
In general, they will soon be experiencing the same pattern of problem, but with a different actor/actress in their play.
In this first scenario, one is too attached to his romantic convictions of what it means to be in a loving relationship as well as to his inner myths and illusions and, whenever reality threatens this self-created fiction, they end the relationship to protect them and continue to validate them. It is easily understandable that the pleasant fiction with which the human being experiences his life within his own mind is more desirable at times than reality, hence the mechanism of escape.
2. The relationship does not end, however, one or both of the actors will seek the internal representation of an external person (lover) to feed mentally and thus be able to be able to continue a relationship which, for one or both, is insufficient with regard to the satisfaction of their needs and affective aspirations.
This is how often a secret passion or relationship in the astral plane of a person committed to a lover is, paradoxically, what sustains the stability of a relationship. The mind will seek to compensate for the needs of the heart even if it has to create illusions.
However, if the relationship ends with the official partner and then begins with the lover to meet expectations, the pattern will tend to repeat itself. In a more concrete example, if the partner or partner has an official physical relationship with a person but maintains a mental relationship with another (lover, sometimes an ex-partner), when they change partners), they will need another lover. This means that the key to a successful loving relationship is not necessarily in choosing the right partner, but rather in the inner work of self-growth and buriling of one’s own moral weaknesses.
3. The relationship does not end and both partners assume full responsibility for the way it unfolds,in its positive and negative facets, adopting a proactive stance concerning their personal development, understanding in depth that any relationship will always be the mirror of its own interior.